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It’s Time to Cancel April Fool’s Day

Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

WASHINGTON DC: Last week, Senator James Robert Qutar (I) of Kentucky filed a bill to eliminate April Fool’s Day. Jumping on the SJW bandwagon of being offended by everything, Senator Jim Bob claims the days of mocking others for stupidly falling for ‘pranks’ and ‘practical jokes’ should be long past.

“Practical Jokes are anything but practical! People’s feelings get hurt! I know mine always did!” railed Senator Qutar. “Let’s call them what they are… lies and bullying! We shouldn’t give it respect by giving it a national holiday! In a modern, civilized country we should not celebrate lying and fooling people on any day. That’s what Election Day is for!”

The senator’s bill (HR: 04012021) also claims April Fool’s day has racist roots and propagates CIS white, sexual stereotypes, and harassment. The bill has found bipartisan support on the Hill.

Republican Congress members have come up with their own reason April Fools Day …is at least redundant. They claim you can’t make up jokes funnier than the reality of Washington DC today:

  • We have a President suffering from dementia and needs helpers to tell him where he is at any given moment.
  • Our Vice President is an ex-call girl who admits to smoking marijuana but fired any staff who did.
  • An obese, transvestite is overseeing Health and Human Services.
  • The President’s crackhead son is credibly accused of being a human-trafficking pedophile who laundered billions of dollars from China and other countries sharing half with his dad.
  • A crackhead’s buddy is the Head of the DEA.
  • Hunter’s other buddy is now in the Dept. of JUSTICE??
  • The Administration is against Voter ID cards, but supports requiring Vaccine ID cards.
  • A guy who is sleeping with the Chinese SPY is over our Homeland Security!?
  • Thousands of Immigrants are coming in for our Jobs and Social Security Benefits.
  • Democrats are still focusing on destroying a former President that’s not there anymore!
  • Add this with the 50,000 jobs lost in the past months when this Administration shut down shovel-ready jobs.

Ironically, a vote is expected to be held on the first day of April.

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