Doctor Geezer’s Clinic

Get me the medicine in Box 22

An old physician, Doctor Domo Geezer, became very bored in retirement and was frankly driving his wife crazy. She finally had enough and encouraged him to re-open his old medical clinic and work it part-time, at least. He put a sign up outside that read:

Treatment only $500

If you’re not cured, you get $1,000 back!

The trouble was, Dr. Geezer opened up his practice right next door to Doctor Digger Young and was stealing all of his patients. Dr. Young was sure the old man didn’t know beans about medicine. He wanted to teach him a lesson AND make an easy $1,000 at the same time, so he went to Dr. Geezer’s Clinic …as a patient.

After waiting two hours in a dingy waiting room with 5 year old “Jack and Jill” magazines to pass the time with, Doctor Young was finally escorted into an examination room. When he saw Dr. Geezer push the curtain aside and enter, he blurted out, “I have lost all taste in my mouth, Doctor. Can you please cure me?”

Dr Geezer scratched his old nose and yelled out, “Nurse, please bring medicine from Box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”

A nurse looking like death warmed over immediately appeared and administered the liquid as ordered.

“Aaagh!! This is Gasoline!”

“Congratulations,” cheered the old doctor, “you’ve got perfect taste buds, again! That will be $500.”

Annoyed, but not beaten, Doctor Young visits the clinic again after a week hoping to recover his money and embarrass his competition.

“I’ve lost my memory, doctor! I cannot remember anything!”

After rubbing his chin for a few thoughtful moments Dr. Geezer shouts, “Nurse! Bring the medicine from Box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

“Oh, no you don’t! The medicine in Box 22 is nothing but Gasoline!”

“Congratulations, young man! I’ve cured you! You have perfect memory, again! That will be $500.”

Now Doctor Young has lost $1,000 and several bushels of dignity. He leaves angrily but comes back two weeks later. This time with his hands outstretched — as if he’s feeling his way into the office.

“Oh doctor, where are you? My eyesight has become weak! I can barely see my own hand in front of my face!”

“Poor lad,” said Dr. Geezer, patting him on the back. “Well, I have no medicine for that, so… here is your $1,000 back.” The old man reaches into his wallet, produces several one-dollar bills, and places them into the young man’s hand.

Dr. Young jumps up, waves the bills in the air and screams, “This is not $1,000! It is only $10 in ones!”

Dr. Geezer smiles and says with a nudge, “Congratulations! You have your perfect vision back! That will be $500!”

The moral of story is, “Just because you’re “YOUNG” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an old “GEEZER”.

ADDENDUM: Don’t make us old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to really bug us.

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