Now, for the third time, a certain man was running for President named Creepy Joe, of Pennsylvania, (it was that state’s Attorney General that predicted: “Trump is going to lose”. Therefore, on the day of the election, Demoncrat operatives thus secretly prepared hundreds of thousands of ballots where the only vote was cast for president and not so for other positions of government. Vote flipping software, written by Demoncrats, was installed far and wide. The dead rose and did cast all of their votes for Creepy Joe and did not one vote for President Trump. But the people of the land did march to the polls and cried out in one voice, “MAGA!” And the projections looked great for Trump. And the people took to their beds and slept in peace.
However, the President did know something the people didn’t know. So he warned the people of the evil about to hit the land. “There is much wickedness in the works. So much wickedness you wouldn’t believe. It’s more wickedness than anyone’s ever seen! Beware, they will try to steal the vote. But take heart! This will come to pass to show that the American People are strong.”
Three after the midnight hour, media prophets with pride in their hearts and hatred in their minds did despise President Trump. They took to the air and proclaimed, “This election is not unto office!” And so, it came to pass that many ballots were counted — after poll counters had been dismissed. Dead ballots, late ballots, illegal ballots, they multiplied each after their kind and they were all counted. Thus it was re-written, President Trump had lost and Creepy Joe had won.
Now, the Rock loved Creepy Joe. And when he first heard President Trump was winning he took to the gym to exercise the demons of despair. And his followers came to him and said, “Master, why are you working out? Do you not see Creepy Joe is losing?” And the Rock, who is also known as Dwayne Johnson, said to them, “He is only losing the actual vote. Even now, Demoncrats are flipping votes.” Then his disciples said, “How can simply turning over a ballot change whether he wins or loses?” So the Rock said plainly, “We’re going to steal the election, morons!”
The next day, The Rock raised up his eyes unto the screens of Fake News and didst see the false prophets boldly declared Creepy Joe the winner.
And the Rock wept.
But Revelations were soon to come…