Manchin Moves His Butt to GOP

DNC & GOP Fight over Custody of Manchin's Butt

WASHINGTON: The dust is still settling after the 2020 election, and while we may not yet know who the president is, we do know Republicans picked up seats in both the Senate and House. This has created a new round of Democrat in-fighting in DC.

Rumor has it, Nancy Pelosi will not have enough support to keep her position as Speaker of the House because of perceived weakness and her inability to keep an inpeneratrable majority.

A civil war also broke out in the Senate with Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York and Joe Manchin of West Virginia firing the first salvos.

“I’m a proud West Virginian. We are hard-working men and women. We want to protect American jobs and healthcare. Today’s Democrats have some crazy socialist agenda, and crazy AOC wants to defund the police! Defund the police? Defund, my butt!” Manchin told The Liar’s Lair.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez did not take Manchin’s comments well. Breaking away from prepared notes, AOC told White House reporters, “A certain so-called Senator from the so-called state of Western Virginia better get on the right side of history, and fast!”

The visibly shaken AOC bared her teeth and continued, “Democrats are only good at pushing one agenda at a time, and now that Donald Trump is out of office we have a new mission, and that is defunding police! Defunding police should happen yesterday! Actually, no, it needs to happen sooner than yesterday! It should happen TODAY!”

Defund the police? Defund, my butt!

“Joe Manchin no longer belongs in the Democrat party! You heard him! He proudly believes in Law & Order, gun-ownership, religious freedom, and hard work — these are notions the Democrat party abandoned long ago!”

“We stole this election, fair and square! I’ll be d—ned if I let some redneck from the hollers of West Virginia tell ME what do to! I am the new face of the Democrat Party and I say DEFUND THE POLICE!”

Asked if she would move to censure Joe Machin, AOC said everything was on the table. “Frankly, he should either quit or join the Republicans. It’s where he belongs.”

For his part, Joe Manchin agrees, “Everything IS on the table. I am receiving and making calls to the GOP leadership to see where I might be useful.”

This isn’t the first time Joe Manchin has flirted with leaving the Democrat Party. Several years ago when President Obama was president, Joe couldn’t get an audience with him and it made him question his party loyalty.

Long–time Democrat Joe Manchin, who has served as both governor and senator of West Virginia, is discussing jumping from what he called a ‘sinking ship’ and joining the Republican Party.

In spite of attempts to meet with President Obama during the last 3 1/2 years, he admits to being all but ignored. He understands the president is busy, but he can’t help but believe it is also because has never ceased to champion the cause of his home state.

“Many West Virginians believe that the last 3 ½ years have not been good.” He continued, “I do not believe that Obama is good for coal and his green stance can and has had a negative impact on the already shaky economy of West Virginia.” In a sobering move yesterday, Manchin stated he can no longer ignore real differences with Obama and cannot support him in the 2012 presidential election.

The Diggerer, West Virginia News Site

Manchin now says, “If Biden takes the White Hosue, it’s over! The Democrat party will be 100% behind AOC’s Green New Deal which will destroy West Virginia’s coal industry, the industries that support them, as well as West Virginia families. And with the constant Democrat attacks on Law Enforcement, I regretfully must leave the Democratic party. Their goals are no longer what is best for West Virginians.”

“In order to serve West Virginian to the best of my capabilities, it is necessary that I join The Republican party. Republicans believe in coal. Republicans believe in the right to bear arms. Republicans believe in lower taxes. Republicans believe in West Virginia. And so do I.”

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