In these days of Covid19 awareness, companies and institutions are creating innovative ways to keep everyone safe. Whiles masks are 100% effective in preventing the spread of Covid19 (as well as blocking odoriferous flatulence), we still need to worry about things everyone touches. Some hospitals are installing voice-activated light switches and opting for a solution to control new hi-tech toilets without touching anything!
The company behind the genius idea is “Preston Digital”. To control the toilets function hands-free, they’ve created a smartphone app they call, “Flushie”TM. And, believe it or not, they have already received their first negative review in the app store.
A VERY NEGATIVE REVIEW.
In a Chicago hospital, Mr. Kinder was admitted for a basic overnight procedure. Before turning in for the night, he entered the bathroom and saw the sticker above the toilet, “HANDS-FREE ONLY: Please download our “FLUSHIE” app from the app store.” Luckily, he had his phone with him and quickly downloaded app. He was prompted to choose, MALE or FEMALE at the opening screen. The option for MALE was disabled. Assuming there couldn’t be that much difference he selected FEMALE and logged in.
He noticed the screen had pink, flower-shaped, buttons with letters on them, but no further instructions. “Pink flowers? THAT’s the difference?!” He laughed and did his business.
Afterward, brought up the app and saw each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. He decided, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” and pushed the button labeled, WW.
Immediately soothing warm water was sprayed gently to clean his nether regions. What a nice feeling, he thought. “The days of Covid19 and going hands-free might not be so bad, after all!”
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he curiously pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure. He was sure the MALE option wouldn’t have this option but he was secretly glad he got the chance to try it.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn’t wait to push the bright red, ATR button which he sure would be supreme ecstasy.
The next thing he knew he was waking up in his hospital bed with a young nurse staring down at him. “What happened!?” he exclaimed. “The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button for the toilet!”
“Oh, I’m so sorry! The ATR button is for Automatic Tampon Remover.” The nurse nervously answered.
“Tampon! I wasn’t wearing a tampon?! And what’s that pain? It feels like something is missing down there!”
“The app removed what it THOUGHT was a tampon… And, uh, unfortunately, your penis was lost when the toilet flushed. But congratulations, Ms. Kinder, you are our first successful female transition patient!”